So Cal Whirlwind

My emotions have been all over the place. I'm so close to just ending the trip. Trying to figure out the logistics for the next week is overwhelming and I'm not sure how I'm going to pull it off. I also feel like all of us in the group are exhausted and I'm feeling pretty sensitive towards people's emotions. I haven't necessarily been the strongest link. I'v left a few times and haven't been a part of a few key important conversations. I'm just a little on the outside. I think I'm just exhausted and am having a hard time making deep connections with more people right now. Too hard to constantly say goodbye.

One of the guests from the lodge this summer put us up in a hotel for Wednesday and Thursday and invited us to thanksgiving dinner. I'm a little at loss for thought right now with that type of generosity and am excited for the next two days.

Matt rented a car and we plan to drive out to the grand canyon Friday then spend a night in Vegas. This is honestly the most random free flowing bike trip. 

Josh John and I are biking to San Diego after Vegas. Our plan is to gonna host for a few days and take the last one to bike to the border, try to cross and grab a drink then bike back. I have to figure out train details which is stressing me out, breaking down my bike and getting on the train by 6 in the morning in San Diego. I have no concept of the city or where I'll be staying. It's so hard to plan for the unknown. It blows my mind I did the is when I was sixteen and again at 19. Of coarse then I just did what I had to do and it didn't seem like a big deal. Now I look at my brother and sister and can't imagine being comfortable with them traveling the way I did. Not sure how my parents coped.

I'm also not looking forward to checking my bank statements. I don't hav job lined up for this winter and have no idea where I will even live. The more I think about it the more I feel this trip growing. The train ride back to washignton, being with my awa family again. Megan will be there with Nadja. Driving down to Colorado visiting friends along the way then back up to michigan. All with da Nutt. Who knows what lies ahead. I need to just let go and let life happen and enjoy the ride.